I'm not that easy, I am like a horse to water

I just want to start by saying that I love horses. My aunt has always had horses, I used to ride for several years when I was younger, and I've always felt an affinity for them. I really enjoy the fact that we have wild horses here on this island, and I have never complained about swerving to avoid them in the road or the mess they leave behind.

However.

Last night was late night for me. I haven't gone out much on weekends lately, but last night I met some friends for drinks and karaoke. A bunch of people from work showed up, we closed the bar, and there was an after-party involved... not perhaps the best decision, and believe me, I paid for it this morning. At one point when I was drunkenly/hung-overly stumbling between the bed and the door to open it for my dog, I noticed that one of the two gates to my yard was open. Completely unable to deal with it at that moment, and wrapped in a towel (remember - too hot for PJs), I haul my dog inside and went back to bed.

I wake up again at 12:30, wrap myself in a towel again, and am just about to let the dog out, when I remember about the gate. I go back inside to put on clothes, open my door and - horses. Five of them. In my yard. And every single one of them had shit. I chased them out of my yard, and turned to assess the damage.

The thing about my dog - really any dog I've ever known - is that given any opportunity to roll in something disgusting, she will seize it with wild abandon. And horse shit is WAY up there on her list of favorite things to smother herself in. So obviously, having it in my yard is a bad idea. I'm still hung over, it's a million degrees with a thousand percent humidity, and now I have to use the only shovel I have to pick up five enormous piles of horse shit. Awesome.

I did the best I could with the tool I had, but I missed some pieces. And now it's only a matter of time until my dog finds them and either rolls in them or enjoys them as a mid-afternoon snack... I love horses, I do, but man - they are on my shit list right now.